Then there's the Rainbow Virus:
Instructs your screen-saver program to randomly interrupt whatever you are doing at least two hundred times a day and throw multi-color spirals across the screen while an audio feature shouts "We LOOOOOOOOOVE YOU."
Lets see now, there is also the.....
RAINBOW COUNCIL VIRUS: This virus gets all your programs to supposedly talk to each other, but in fact , causes them to continuously argue over the simplest of ideas... causing your programs to become less integrated and your computer to run less effectively.
THE RAINBOW RUMOUR VIRUS: This is a particularly tricky virus that spreads often "untrue" information to other programs, causing them to act in irrational manners. Infected programs in turn, spread information they think is real to other programs throughout your computer until your whole system overloads with contradiction and crashes.
THE DISCLAIMER VIRUS: It acts similar to the Rumor virus, but makes a point of letting you know that it is "not responsible" for the information it gives to your other programs.
THE RAINBOW "DOSE ME" VIRUS: This virus runs all around your computer yelling "DOSE ME - DOSE ME". Though this seems generally harmless or at times annoying at most, it actually uses up a lot of your computers free memory and causes your other programs to be momentarily distracted and upset at times.
THE RAINBOW TRADITION VIRUS: This one tells your programs that contrary to what they "think" their programming commands tell them to do, that there are infact different "master" commands set up earlier that they should be operating from.... This causes massive confusion for the program not knowing "what" commands to obey.
THE NO LEADER VIRUS: This one tells your programs that they do not have to listen to "any" program commands, that they can do whatever they want regardless of how it effects other programs in the system.... This ofcourse creates instant anarchy within your computer, causing one program to overwrite the other until your computer fails to function properly.
THE RAINBOW ELITIST VIRUS: Though it has been known at times to cause some confusion and resentment within your computer, this one is mostly harmless. It usually won't even talk to most of your computers programs, thinking them far inferior and not worth the time.
THE ASK SOMEBODY ELSE - PLEASE FEED ME VIRUS: This virus masquerades as a legitimate program (often times even claiming to be a very important program).... but when asked to perform even the simplest of tasks, starts downloading a gigabit of info on why it can't help out.
THE REGION 16 VIRUS: Once this virus enters your computer, it gathers all your personal ID #'s and passwords, then exits your computer. It then randomly wonders the internet telling everybody it's you and asks for (often demanding!) help from others to fill it's needs.
THE GOOD INTENTION VIRUS: this poor little virus goes around telling other programs how they can do things better... unfortunately knowing little about the purpose of the other programs or how they work, it usually causes more confusion than it tries to correct.
THE RAINBOW DEADHEAD VIRUS: This is a relatively confusing virus. Though it's been around for many years, lately it seems to be growing in numbers. Though it is commonly thought to be one big "pain-in-the-ass" virus, it is actually several virus in one (leading to a lot of the confusion). Several of these virus are actually "very helpful" to your computer, but because a couple of them tend to cause a lot of trouble, most people tend to think of them as one BIG virus in great need of defragmenting.
And the RAINBOW HOMESITE VIRUS:
Commands your programs to "ignore all rumors of cancellation", getting all your programs to perform their functions at the same time, continuing even when you try to exit, overloading your hard drive with a bunch of s---!!! leaving utilities working overtime to clean up all by themselves!
TRADER VIRUS: It sits in the pathway of all your other programs offering to trade useless information for buds!
THE WELCOMEHOME VIRUS: This one hangs around and constantly welcomes home any programs that cross it's path, even if they were there before it arrived. Again it's one of those harmless virus', though it has been known to be a bit infectious causing some of your other programs to repeat it's message over and over again to other programs.
GROUNDSCORE VIRUS: This is a nasty little virus that wanders around your computer looking for any unguarded info in your other programs. It then steals it and claims it to be theirs after saying the magic words "ground score!"
SIX-UP VIRUS: I'm not even sure why they call this a virus, it's actually very helpful. Whenever your writing anything about drugs and just before your ready to post it, your computer detects any Feds listening in.... your computer then starts screaming SIX-UP! (this is especially handy when posting to AGR)
Ironwood Running Bare wrote:
There is the Elder Virus that's been around awhile, overwrites new software, but for some reason speeds up the cpu for older programs, especially if given a lot of attention.
The High Holy Virus will use up all your RAM.
The Ganga Virus destroys conventional memory and data will be lost, but high memory and graphics are enhanced.
Shitter Virus effects the buffer which won't hold anything, it will clone itself until the BIOS is irratic, files will download at a very high baud rate, running and running and running, FAT will be lost. If on a network the whole system will be affected, especially the print buffers and the paper will disappear. Shutting down the system and rebooting will not work, it will be impossible to have a clean boot.